Black Knights and Pandas

Thought I would be waking up in aches and pains but to my surprise, everything is still intact and I only have slighlty sore deltoids. Not bad!

As reward (and encouragement) for picking up my practice again, I've decided to take the day off to enjoy some peace and quiet at home. Also a good time to slow down a bit, to contemplate and to realign my perspectives.

One of my teachers used to say that there are only two types of yogis, namely, the Black Knights and the Pandas. Black Knights believed that pain is good and they will keep pushing and trying, and will never give up until they can reach their goals. Pandas, on the contrary, believed that everything hurts and they are not good enough to try anything out of their comfort zones.

In reality, we are all either Black Knights or Pandas in everything we do. The only difference is, some of you may be more of a Black Knight, and some, more of a Panda. I like to say we are all either Black Knights underneath a Panda's disguise, or vice-versa.

When I started yoga, I was definitely a Black Knight. Nothing is impossible. Inversions, arm balances, you name it. Muscle aches were just daily routines, and I continued going to practice even if it meant using my hands to swing my legs up the stairs to the yoga studio. Once I got onto the mat, though, all the aches will be gone and I will be sweating my heart out for another couple of hours.

The Black Knight in me rode on for quite a while, until I started hurting myself.

On a side note, I have to stress that yoga is an absolutely safe practice. I know we've all heard a lot of so-called yoga injuries but in all fairness, the practice of yoga does not pose any harm to anyone. It is not about breaking bones or tying you up with your own limbs. It is intended for a safe and slow exploration of the connection between our body and mind, so that we can comfortably (and gradually) move into different yoga poses that will help strengthen our physical body. People who have gotten hurt in yoga did it to themselves by not listening to their body and pushing too hard. Like me.

Anyways, after repeatedly hurting myself, I started sliding down the spectrum and became a Panda. I kept giving myself excuses when I didn't want to venture out of my comfort zones. Not this pose, not yet, coz my back has not completely healed. Oh, that one, it will hurt my knee. The list of excuses kept growing longer and longer, and soon, I fell out of practice and lost sight of what I really enjoy doing.

This extended to other aspects of my life as well. For example, when I first got Tinsel, I tackled her problems head-on, from seeking help from trainers to trying what-ever I could at home. But as the problem persisted, Panda took over and I began to run away from problems. I'm now so glad that somehow the little Black Knight in me did not die out completely so I can reignite the spark, by starting Tinsel's training and my own practice again.

The Black Knight is back. Underneath a Panda's disguise.

-AM